june 21, 2011

happy summer!!!  summer is officially here.  the weather has been wet, very damp and dreary for the last week and will continue to be for days to come, but right this very moment there has been a break in the clouds and the sun is out.  so nice to see the sun, again.

we thought our travel papers would appear yesterday, but they did not.  so, regrouping and planning for friday or next monday.  it's been a difficult week and we are ready to go (sort of!), but will have to say good-bye to our dear elderly jack russell terrorist, whichway, who was diagnosed with lymphoma last week.  not getting TA and having the extra time with him has been a very welcome reprieve.  still, we are anxious to go get our son and as time can not be stopped or reversed, we will ultimately be faced with making "The Decision."

it's never a good time to kill your dog.  we've lost at least one dog with every adoption and even lost a dog a year after olivia was born.  it's ironic that our process has gone so consistently in this way.  i guess it would have been different had we not had a house full of old dogs when we decided to build our human family, huh?

we are going to miss him terribly.  it was hard to lose buzz last year - very hard.  and losing whichway will be at least as difficult, but we want him to go before his pain becomes too uncomfortable and his quality of life changes.  i really wish he could meet ben, not that either whichway or ben would care!  ben's never seen a dog, ever and whichway is mostly blind and deaf, so it would probably just be a confusing time for him anyway.  and we don't want him in a kennel for 2.5 weeks wondering where the hell we are and stressing and potentially being in pain...  we didn't want this loss for the kids right before travel, but there is really no other option.  so, wanting TA, but not wanting it, too...